[sorry to any brothers/uncles/etc. this is a birth story, it's very long and there is blood]
Everything about this pregnancy was so different. I knew I shouldn't expect to have the baby a week early like the other two, but well... it's hard to not have expectations! I finally was resigned to wait until 42 weeks as it didn't seem anything was happening at all. In fact, I didn't even feel miserable - can you imagine?
On Thursday night though (41 weeks), after dinner at our favorite seafood place, I started to have really painful nerve/sciatica-like pain in my hips, which is exactly what happened the night before I had Edie. Also before bed I noticed a tiny bit of blood. In an effort to not believe in jinxing myself I even commented to Ben that I thought maybe something was happening. That night I woke up at 1:15am and felt a little gush. Ben happened to be awake and I told him what I thought was happening. I moved and felt another, then another, then a LOT. I got up and it just kept going. I knew from my experience with Vera to just relax and try to get some rest [with her I went directly to hospital]. Obviously though I couldn't fall back asleep again because of the excitement and nerves. I continued to feel the water coming out every time I got up and I was also feeling a lot of contractions - the kind that hurt enough you know they are real and you kind of relish them, but not so painful you can't handle it. At 7am I finally got up to help Vera get ready for school - and they pretty much stopped. It was like that throughout the day - if I laid down, I would start feeling them, if I was up and moving they became elusive.
I called the OB office in the morning and went in to get checked, baby monitored etc. Baby was doing great and my nurse practitioner [kind of my midwife during the pregnancy, I rarely saw the OB who left a week before anyway] said to go home and see what happened/call by noon. Ben and I went for a long walk and then I just tried to keep busy cleaning up.. nothing. The NP recommended I just get up to the hospital around 3:00 since we were on that "24 hour clock" from when your water breaks.
I was really pleased with everyone at Brigham and Women's Hospital. I just had the midwives who were on call and they were both very professional, experienced and accommodating. I expressed that I wanted to avoid pitocin, and they were ok with seeing if labor would get going. I really wanted to try using a breast pump as I'd heard that it can really work wonders. The midwife confessed that she had used one for the one of her labors and that it had totally worked. I started it and one nurse came in and suggested I go for a walk instead... which I didn't really want to do. I'd been up since 1am and sitting down was really nice. I got back dressed and we went for a long tiring walk which did nothing - wish I'd just stuck with my instincts.
Back in the room, I hooked myself back up to the pump. It was crazy - a contraction would start about a minute into it! I did what the midwife said - pump one side and then when a contraction starts, stop the pumping until a minute after contraction, then switch sides. I kept up at this for a short time when the same nurse started talking about getting on the pitocin drip. I was getting a little annoyed with her as the pumping was working - at least the contractions were becoming more regular! The midwife sat down to talk with me about it - I think it was around 8:00 or 9:00pm and she said that often the contractions will stop when you stop pumping. But during the 15 or so minutes that I had stopped, the contractions continued. I thought this was a good sign.. and she said I could even go past that 24 hour mark if baby was doing ok and there was no sign of infection. At the same time, I realized that I wouldn't have much stamina to labor all night like that. It was hard to know if active labor had really started and I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do.
Well as I talked with the midwife, I started to have to close my eyes during contractions and had a hard time staying in the conversation. I have no idea what the time table was here, [remember I said this is a long story, I feel I have to apologize for rambling] but I continued to be annoyed that they -mostly that nurse- were talking about pitocin when I was obviously having regular and painful contractions!! I laid on my side the whole time as I did with Edie - no desire whatsoever to be up and moving. I needed Ben to lightly touch my lower back through a contraction - any pressure made it worse. They were getting really close together and I had a hard time getting a great rhythm going. I just tried to focus on breathing, sighing or voicing each exhale. Finally she thought she'd check my progress as I hadn't been checked yet [bc of risk of introducing infection]. When she told me I was at FIVE centimeters, I felt so ... deflated and helpless. I was so incredibly tired, had started getting the shakes, was crying a little and it was really hurting badly. I told them I wanted an epidural NOW PLEASE. I decided it wasn't worth it, I didn't need to make an "I did it drug free!" statement - I needed relief. I could hear the midwife whispering to Ben whether I really wanted this and in a moment between contractions I hollered over YES I WANT IT, I can't do this another hour or two or who knows how long. So the anaesthesiologist was summoned, and I could hear them talking to him in the hallway when I felt something move into the birth canal. It couldn't be the baby, I mean I was literally just at 5 cm??! I felt an incredibly urge to push and yelled that the baby was there and everyone ran back into the room. Wow is that part painful - I yelled for someone to take it out, Ben cheered me on that I could do it : ) She was born about 10 minutes after the midwife checked me at only halfway dilated. Isn't that crazy?? I couldn't believe it. They had her on my stomach cleaning her off and I was like what is it????! Ben peered in and it was a girl!! Oh my goodness, I couldn't believe it :) 11:23 pm on February 7 - 8 lbs. 13 oz.
♥
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I felt really good in the next ten minutes, alive and well, talking and laughing with everyone about how quickly it had all happened in the end. This is one reason I like to do it without medication - you really feel so clear-headed and invigorated and able to move yourself around. Well after 20 or 30 minutes it became clear that the placenta was not coming out on its own, just as it hadn't with Edie [or in retrospect, with Vera either, but that time the epidural had allowed them to quickly remove it]. They had to scramble around a bit to get me a pain med and then remove it manually. Ruth was on my chest skin to skin but wasn't able to really relax with all the commotion of needles and monitors, so Ben held her. She was quiet for a bit but finally her cries were too much and they took her [poor babe :( ] The removal was excruciating, even with a narcotic!! Ben passed out - or nearly did and had to remove himself for a few.
The OB wasn't able to remove everything, so I ended up having to go to the OR to have a D&C. I was extremely foggy and sleepy from the fentanyl, from being up for 24 hours and from losing a couple liters of blood [I thought I heard someone say that #..] and kept falling asleep as they were talking to me. I took advantage of the OR to just close my eyes and go in and out of sleep, a weird experience with all the crazy bright lights and doctors and all. I did end up getting a transfusion which helped me feel a little better, but I would say the first week of recovery was hard - I felt really weak, spacey and lightheaded in addition to all the other things you recover from. I'd say now at almost 2 weeks I feel a whole lot better, but not quite normal. Also, in case you're wondering - breastfeeding is going pretty well!! I got a lot of help from the two LCs at the hospital and really have tried to be vigilant in taking care of myself between feedings. Not perfect yet...
So that's how Ruth arrived! Isn't it amazing how every story is different? We are so thankful for our sweet baby - she is truly precious and it is so awesome to see Vera and Edie adore her. and to see Ben the daddy of three little girls is pretty cute too :) Long story, thanks to those who made it to the end ; )