*montana

Ben's dad was in Missoula this weekend and went by our old first house.  Kind of a strange sensation seeing the picture - it was like this house didn't exist anymore except for in my memory, but there it is! I imagine still the tiniest and most humble house on the block.  We only lived there one short year, but there are enough memories to fill many more years than that!  Bittersweet - wish sometimes we could go back to that time of riding our bikes everywhere, dinners and shifts at Scotty's Table, friends over for dinner and lots of wine, Boone a little pup, the river... Isn't it amazing to look back and think if only you knew -for instance- you'd be living outside of Boston, Massachusetts with three little daughters??

Anyway.

*new daily

Yesterday went really well. Maybe I was on an oxytocin high, but it was just a warm and fuzzy wonderful kind of day. We had a friend and her little guy over in the morning - the conversation, kids' play, mocha, bouquet of flowers and washing of my dishes was enough to make it a great day. Then Vera came home and the girls got along really well, playing and finishing homework and being so kind to each other. They even collaborated on a little thank you note project that I'd asked Edie to work on.  Ruth of course didn't sleep anywhere but in arms most of the day, but I am *almost* completely ok with it this time around. I know it won't last and I've resolved to keep my expectations for the day pretty low.  While the girls watched a much deserved show, I made a really delicious and easy pinterest inspired dinner [such a suburban housewife!] while Ruth fell asleep in the sling and then for a minute in her little chair.  Ben came home and we ate as a family and it was a good day.  I planned to write about it here.  

Of course, I do like to keep it real, so I will share that it took well over an hour of nursing and rocking and bouncing to get Ruth to sleep. I think *the colic* is making its approach. I recognized that same restlessness that both Vera and Edie showed at that hour.  It did end though and I got decent sleep [she woke at 2:00, 5:00 and 7:00!]  This morning, I thought we would take an easy trip to Kinkos to finish the thank you note project ... but Ruth is proving to be like Edie was and won't stay asleep in her carseat! Isn't it supposed to have the magic touch?? I never liked using it with baby Vera, but when it's 25 and windy out, you kinda just want to keep them bundled up in there.  Anyway I had to hold her while we made our copies and then for some reason Edie started getting all freaky wanting to be held and not wanting to walk to the car. She screamed the whole way home and went right into time out. THANKfully Ruth then did stay asleep in the carseat and I was able to go upstairs and hug Eden with tears in both our eyes telling her how much I love her and that I know it's hard having a new baby, but that I love her and she needs to be considerate and loving too.  We've had lots of these emotional moments - well us girls, poor Ben :)  I'm one of those new moms with raging and crashing hormones, so the tears are more often than not on my side.

So anyway, there's a picture of our new normal.  Some really good moments and some low ones. Thankfully God was gracious and answered my prayers for patience today - I definitely don't always handle it like today!!  

I love this one :)

*Ruth's birth story

[sorry to any brothers/uncles/etc. this is a birth story, it's very long and there is blood]

Everything about this pregnancy was so different. I knew I shouldn't expect to have the baby a week early like the other two, but well... it's hard to not have expectations!  I finally was resigned to wait until 42 weeks as it didn't seem anything was happening at all. In fact, I didn't even feel miserable - can you imagine?

On Thursday night though (41 weeks), after dinner at our favorite seafood place, I started to have really painful nerve/sciatica-like pain in my hips, which is exactly what happened the night before I had Edie.  Also before bed I noticed a tiny bit of blood. In an effort to not believe in jinxing myself I even commented to Ben that I thought maybe something was happening.  That night I woke up at 1:15am and felt a little gush. Ben happened to be awake and I told him what I thought was happening.  I moved and felt another, then another, then a LOT. I got up and it just kept going. I knew from my experience with Vera to just relax and try to get some rest [with her I went directly to hospital]. Obviously though I couldn't fall back asleep again because of the excitement and nerves. I continued to feel the water coming out every time I got up and I was also feeling a lot of contractions - the kind that hurt enough you know they are real and you kind of relish them, but not so painful you can't handle it.  At 7am I finally got up to help Vera get ready for school - and they pretty much stopped.  It was like that throughout the day - if I laid down, I would start feeling them, if I was up and moving they became elusive.

I called the OB office in the morning and went in to get checked, baby monitored etc.  Baby was doing great and my nurse practitioner [kind of my midwife during the pregnancy, I rarely saw the OB who left a week before anyway] said to go home and see what happened/call by noon. Ben and I went for a long walk and then I just tried to keep busy cleaning up.. nothing.  The NP recommended I just get up to the hospital around 3:00 since we were on that "24 hour clock" from when your water breaks.

I was really pleased with everyone at Brigham and Women's Hospital.  I just had the midwives who were on call and they were both very professional, experienced and accommodating.  I expressed that I wanted to avoid pitocin, and they were ok with seeing if labor would get going.  I really wanted to try using a breast pump as I'd heard that it can really work wonders. The midwife confessed that she had used one for the one of her labors and that it had totally worked. I started it and one nurse came in and suggested I go for a walk instead... which I didn't really want to do. I'd been up since 1am and sitting down was really nice.  I got back dressed and we went for a long tiring walk which did nothing - wish I'd just stuck with my instincts.

Back in the room, I hooked myself back up to the pump.  It was crazy - a contraction would start about a minute into it!  I did what the midwife said - pump one side and then when a contraction starts, stop the pumping until a minute after contraction, then switch sides. I kept up at this for a short time when the same nurse started talking about getting on the pitocin drip. I was getting a little annoyed with her as the pumping was working - at least the contractions were becoming more regular! The midwife sat down to talk with me about it - I think it was around 8:00 or 9:00pm and she said that often the contractions will stop when you stop pumping. But during the 15 or so minutes that I had stopped, the contractions continued. I thought this was a good sign..  and she said I could even go past that 24 hour mark if baby was doing ok and there was no sign of infection. At the same time, I realized that I wouldn't have much stamina to labor all night like that.  It was hard to know if active labor had really started and I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do.

Well as I talked with the midwife, I started to have to close my eyes during contractions and had a hard time staying in the conversation. I have no idea what the time table was here,  [remember I said this is a long story, I feel I have to apologize for rambling] but I continued to be annoyed that they -mostly that nurse- were talking about pitocin when I was obviously having regular and painful contractions!!   I laid on my side the whole time as I did with Edie - no desire whatsoever to be up and moving.  I needed Ben to lightly touch my lower back through a contraction - any pressure made it worse.  They were getting really close together and I had a hard time getting a great rhythm going.  I just tried to focus on breathing, sighing or voicing each exhale.  Finally she thought she'd check my progress as I hadn't been checked yet [bc of risk of introducing infection]. When she told me I was at FIVE centimeters, I felt so ... deflated and helpless. I was so incredibly tired, had started getting the shakes, was crying a little and it was really hurting badly.  I told them I wanted an epidural NOW PLEASE. I decided it wasn't worth it, I didn't need to make an "I did it drug free!" statement - I needed relief.  I could hear the midwife whispering to Ben whether I really wanted this and in a moment between contractions I hollered over YES I WANT IT, I can't do this another hour or two or who knows how long.  So the anaesthesiologist was summoned, and I could hear them talking to him in the hallway when I felt something move into the birth canal. It couldn't be the baby, I mean I was literally just at 5 cm??!  I felt an incredibly urge to push and yelled that the baby was there and everyone ran back into the room.  Wow is that part painful - I yelled for someone to take it out, Ben cheered me on that I could do it : )  She was born about 10 minutes after the midwife checked me at only halfway dilated. Isn't that crazy??  I couldn't believe it. They had her on my stomach cleaning her off and I was like what is it????!  Ben peered in and it was a girl!! Oh my goodness, I couldn't believe it :)  11:23 pm on February 7 - 8 lbs. 13 oz.  ♥

***

I felt really good in the next ten minutes, alive and well, talking and laughing with everyone about how quickly it had all happened in the end.  This is one reason I like to do it without medication - you really feel so clear-headed and invigorated and able to move yourself around.  Well after 20 or 30 minutes it became clear that the placenta was not coming out on its own, just as it hadn't with Edie [or in retrospect, with Vera either, but that time the epidural had allowed them to quickly remove it].  They had to scramble around a bit to get me a pain med and then remove it manually. Ruth was on my chest skin to skin but wasn't able to really relax with all the commotion of needles and monitors, so Ben held her.  She was quiet for a bit but finally her cries were too much and they took her [poor babe :( ] The removal was excruciating, even with a narcotic!!  Ben passed out - or nearly did and had to remove himself for a few.

The OB wasn't able to remove everything, so I ended up having to go to the OR to have a D&C.  I was extremely foggy and sleepy from the fentanyl, from being up for 24 hours and from losing a couple liters of blood [I thought I heard someone say that #..] and kept falling asleep as they were talking to me. I took advantage of the OR to just close my eyes and go in and out of sleep, a weird experience with all the crazy bright lights and doctors and all.  I did end up getting a transfusion which helped me feel a little better, but I would say the first week of recovery was hard - I felt really weak, spacey and lightheaded in addition to all the other things you recover from.  I'd say now at almost 2 weeks I feel a whole lot better, but not quite normal.  Also, in case you're wondering - breastfeeding is going pretty well!! I got a lot of help from the two LCs at the hospital and really have tried to be vigilant in taking care of myself between feedings.  Not perfect yet...    

So that's how Ruth arrived!  Isn't it amazing how every story is different?  We are so thankful for our sweet baby - she is truly precious and it is so awesome to see Vera and Edie adore her.  and to see Ben the daddy of three little girls is pretty cute too :)  Long story, thanks to those who made it to the end ; )

*Ruth 'Alohilani Cater

Little Ruth was born last Friday night - just over a week old now!  What a surprise - we were all (especially me) convinced she was a little boy. But what a gift. Three Little Cater women :)

Ruth was a name we had considered when I was pregnant with Vera.  In high school I heard a life- forming sermon on the book of Ruth, and held it so dear I swore I'd name my daughter that some day [my college roommates probably remember my first-ever email password was Ruthie:)].  When the time came to name our first baby, I had over thought it and Ben wasn't really excited about it.  So this time in the delivery room when the names we'd considered just didn't fit right, I was surprised when he brought it up, saying he really did like the name Ruth.  His dad's mother was named Ruth (and my great-grandmother too), and we like that we can honor the family in that way.

'Alohilani means "brightness of heaven" or "bright sky" in Hawaiian.  It makes us think of God's goodness and beauty, of the Western skies we miss so much - and then it happened to be a bright blue-sky day on the 7th when she was born.

Here are some pictures from the first week.  Soon I'll write up just how Baby Ruth (yes, yes) came into the world.

first meeting, such an incredibly happy moment I really looked forward to :)

 

***

*más house tour

Upstairs!  

I'd had this idea in my head for over a year for the girls' room - inspired by this and this.  We did paint over the blue in our first month here, but then it sat like that with no pictures on the wall or anything until last week. 

I had wanted a more poppy-reddish-orangeish but couldn't find the right one. I actually just went with this gypsy pink because I paid the most for the sample. It's fun ... and bright! They love it and had soo much fun peeling the tape off.

I also wanted to let them each do a square of paint using "tape tricks" - a little art activity we learned at the MFA last Feb.  They were so excited about this!  It was hard to not intervene and give advice, but worth it to have their very own creation :)  I put up the fairy alphabet cards earlier and they do look a little too messy... I love them though and am not sure where to use.  The rug is also a little too busy, but they do like it a lot, playing little games jumping on the colors.  I prefer a cleaner more sparse look but they do really love their room now.

One of their weekly chores is to clean out under the bed, which I wanted them to do before I took a picture.  It's hard to give them a task without them turning it into an opportunity for creative play, ie. bigger mess:

Sigh ... our room.  I would love it to be a peaceful sanctuary, but for a little longer it's going to be a pretty cluttered. I want to keep our guest room for guests at least for a while, and so baby will be in here with us to start.

One dresser was left by previous owners, the other was a freebie on the street. I'll put the changing pad and diaper stuff on mine on the right. Someday, grownup furniture. and pictures on the walls.  This was the color when we moved in - I don't love it, but can live with it.

This is the guest room a couple months ago - some stuff has been cleared out, and more stuff taken its place. I need to move that stuff to where it belongs before my mom comes next week!  No pictures in here either.  We got the iron trundle bed on craigslist too - love having space for people to visit. HINT.

Upstairs bathroom - we also have a half bath in the kitchen. We are so used to having more than one bathroom in the West, but found it pretty rare when we were looking at places here.

*tour de casa

I know some of you have wanted to see a 'home tour' .. I keep trying to get everything cleaned up and perfect to take pictures for that and you know... that's hard to make happen, especially the whole house at once! Also I have been slow to finish upstairs rooms and hang pictures, etc. But anyway, here is a decent little home tour. I even found some before pictures I snuck when we walked through the house the first time:

I love my kitchen and dining room so much!! LOVE them. They get beautiful light almost all day and have such a pretty view out to the back deck.  Cooking is so easy and enjoyable with so much counter and cupboard space.  Since we could never afford a kitchen remodel, I'm so glad it has easy colors.  and I love the gas stove!! I feel incredibly blessed and unworthy :)

Looks like I took this picture in back in November, probably thinking I'd put it up here.  I found this table on craigslist for pretty cheap - we love it!  For nine years we had the little 4-seater bistro table - it's so nice to have a real dining set. The chairs are pretty gross - I just need to get some fabric to reupholster.  They also sold us the little cart there in the corner where I keep placemats, napkins, morning devotionals and homework stuff.  We're hoping to get window treatments at some point and to replace the chandelier which gives a weird orange light in the evening.  Edie's little kitchen hutch is to the left.

This is the little nook off the living room. It's been a little hard to figure out, but it's a nice little space to have.  We got this pull-out couch on craigslist too. We want lots of space for visitors to crash if they need to :)  I kept half of the previous owners' cafe curtains up just because we need something there, but hopefully we'll get something better there soon. I have a hard time choosing something that 'pulls it all together.'

This is looking the other way. It is often really messy and doesn't look very put together, but oh well. Someday it would be nice to have a built-in or a nicer piece of furniture for TV and to keep toys in.

I love our living room as well.  I fretted over whether we should paint this one too, and now that the rooms on either side are gray, it seems to work fine (it's a light blueish greenish).  I still haven't really done much with the mantel - I need a Tamara-type to come over and help :)

part 2 coming soon...

*baby shower

Our good friends threw us a little shower last weekend which was very sweet. We're so glad to have this little family of friends here!

Everyone was fascinated with my tummy.  John asks every time I see him if it's still in there and why :)

kiddie table:

decorating onesies for the bebe:

I don't think Edie has ever looked this princessy:

*36 weeks

Vera took this of me on Christmas day at 35 weeks.  I have to say this pregnancy is so so much easier than the previous two! I would never have expected that but take it as a huge blessing.  By the end of the day I do usually have excruciating back/rib pain, crazy water-retention induced sock lines, feelings of claustrophobia, occasional shooting pain down from my hips and a short reserve of patience, but on the whole I'd say I still feel decent. I'm even sleeping pretty well - well except for the cold.  I've had this crazy cold the last week which made for some comically miserable moments - like when I was battling through back pain while reading bedtime stories and the dry heat from the fire Ben started just didn't agree with my sinuses. My whole head seized and I could barely take a breath. I just sat there and started crying while Edie put her arms around me and tenderly gave me little butterfly kisses on my shoulder. I want to remember that - something about being mothered by your own children.  It's also pretty comical when I have to put on my snowboots - holy cow, I get a huge contraction every time.

I can't wait to meet this little one!  We all tap my stomach and tell it to kick once if it's a boy and twice if it's a girl :)  I had an ultrasound yesterday and the technician guessed [yes they are often way off] that the baby is only in the 42% right now - kind of excited that I may have a baby smaller than 9 lbs!  We are starting to narrow down names - something we had settled much earlier with V and E.  It's crazy thinking I may never [most likely stopping after this one] feel a baby moving inside me again - one of my most favorite things ever. Such a sweet, happy secret you carry :)  Anyway, I took out the bin of "little baby things" for the first time today and made a little stack of burp cloths and receiving blankets. We haven't set up the crib yet or assessed what we need.... I borrowed a lot in Utah and many hand-me-downs have run their course. Thankfully I've learned you don't actually need much.  I'm actually thinking pretty positively even about the new baby stage.. I feel like just maybe I will be able to handle it better this time?  I'll know the crying phase will end, the other child will eventually adjust, that I do not need to get any projects done or feel pressure to do anything but hold and nurse the baby and love my big girls [they'll eat too].  Maybe I'm in denial. I will say I am a little nervous about labor .... yikes. At least that one is over relatively quickly!

Anyway, those are my thoughts in these last weeks.

*navidad 2013

We really had a wonderful Christmas and week prior with Matty and Melissa here. I'm bummed because I ordered photos from my phone and then deleted them before I uploaded to computer, so I just have a few.  I'll find more somehow and add later...

I'd say the highlight for me was just spending time with family, lounging about and watching the girls love our visitors - makes us wish all over again we could just live close enough to do that anytime. Another highlight was the Christmas Eve service at our church - such a great, solid message, absolutely beautiful music and then a walk back through Boston Common - getting the girls excited that Santa was out there on his way.

Christmas Eve:

Normally I would say something like this is ridiculous and corny and takes away from the message, but our pastor really did an amazing job captivating the church with an excellent sermonette.  This is Ben who volunteered to open one of the gifts on stage - he "won" a pretty awesome flashlight : )

Matty took this of us on the way back from our night out [no kids]. We looked around the Boston Public Library before drinks [a super fancy bubbly water for me] at the historic Fairmont Hotel in Copley Square, then a cold and rainy walk down Commonwealth Avenue to the Eastern Standard near Fenway Park for dinner.  Loved it : )  

I love a fancy old hotel - especially at Christmas time!

Italian pastries in the North End:

these two LOVe Melissa, totally enamoured : )

our backyard:

Lobstah feast at home - turned out well!! boys did all the work, I made coleslaw.

hermanos:

I'll scrounge up more photos...