*el sueño

..thoughts on bedtime..

So every night is basically the same: Eden is super tired and ready for bed at 5:30. I nurse her and lay her down in her bassinette. She wakes up after about 30 minutes and I go in and rock her for a while until she's fast asleep again [not easy] and then lay down on the bed with her until I'm sure she's asleep - usually taking about an hour or more [the whole process is the same, even if it's started at a later time]. She usually then wakes again around 10:00. At first I was distraught about it all as my night basically ends at 5:30 with that half hour to finish dinner and eat. I'm usually too tired to do much after she's down and before I go to bed.

So anyway it was really stressing me out, but I made a conscious decision in the last week or two to just enjoy it: feeling the warm weight of her body in my arms, looking at her adorable little face and her little sleeping smiles, watching her little mouth twist and start sucking - looking for her binky, being needed and loved by this little growing girl. Also taking the opportunity while it's quiet and I'm alone to pray. [Of course sometimes I'll be thinking all this and she starts to squirm and wake and cry - then I get frustrated again :)] I remember after Vera learned to go to sleep on her own, she would almost never fall asleep in my arms anymore, and so I'm going to savor these moments of holding my sweet sleeping baby.

[not bedtime pictures obviously, just a sweet sleepy baby]