We just picked Ben up at the airport after a week away promoting the Boston Semester program he's developed [he is now at his office with them for an hour: GLORIOUS silence and solitude for me]. He commented on the way home that it was so nice to be back ... even though this place still feels so foreign and "not home." And I have to agree. To be quite honest [and I do thank you all for mentioning that I seem so well adjusted haha] it sometimes just sucks to have moved here, to be so far away from the communities of friends and families that we love. To have everything be so freaking expensive that we can't afford a one bedroom dorm and my dreams of simply staying at home with my kids is fairly out the window. To have a rabbit living in the closet who scratches and shakes her cage and sometimes makes our tiny apartment smell like bunny pee [imagine it, please]. Where daily stresses like this make for a *slightly* delicate and argumentative phase of our marriage. Daily I go through hills and valleys of depression and contentment here but the constant truth is that nothing happens without God's hand in it, that He protects and provides for us even when that doesn't look like how we want it to. That He uses these things to teach us, to make us more reliant on Him than say.... large kitchens and our own bedrooms and the box of socks that we need but is buried in storage. We - this little family of four is together. Home is this spot where He has us and thankfully He has given us each other!
He is good!:::::::::>>>>>>>>............
*I don't want to discount the friends and community and experiences we've had and are thankful for and who deserve a future post... : )
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Good words:
It is good to give thanks to the
LORD; And to sing praises
to your name O Most High;
To declare your lovingkindness
in the morning; And your
faithfulness every night.
psalm 92:1-2
LORD; And to sing praises
to your name O Most High;
To declare your lovingkindness
in the morning; And your
faithfulness every night.
psalm 92:1-2
4 comments:
wow Anne! So well spoken. So honest. Real. True. You have a beautiful family. Aren't we, as moms, put to the test...so often. Thank God He has given us each other!
Though I know all these things are true and hard (and very understandably so), I do think you guys have dealt with all of the changes this past year with more grace than you give yourself credit for! Maybe because you do understand that He is in control even when things feel so shaky. We are cheering you on in every stage you go through!! Jen
I completely understand. I imagine it feels even more challenging with your current living situation. Someday soon, you will be *remembering* that time when you all shared a bedroom. :)
I echo all the above. So beautifully written and candid. I feel for you guys and empathize.. I can't tell you how much your experience echoes our early months living in New York - the stress of a ridiculously small space, the expensiveness of everything and the feeling like the simplest pleasures we'd grown accustomed to were denied us, the constant stress of confronting so much that was unfamiliar, and the inevitable bickering that was the understandable result. We feel for you guys and pray for you all the time. But we also share your conviction that God is with you in all things. We also trust that you will be surprised by countless unimagined experiences and discoveries during your time on the East Coast! It happened like that for us, I know it will for you guys too! xoxoxx
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