*a long post that doesn't stay on topic

 

It's been a long week.  I am overwhelmed. I know everyone else is too, but I guess I'll be the first to express it :)  I think for the first time we are over-scheduled: I am racing to get somewhere and back and in time to put Edie down and to work and finding a time to sit and nurse and kind-of clean our house and feed everyone and wash diapers and clothes and shower and try to be super-creative crafty Christmas mom every--single--day.  It hasn't been working!!!

My friend Jenny wrote about it -and it's been on my mind lately too- a talk a lovely woman made at the mom's group I attend.  She is a nurse-midwife and came to talk about our emotional health - about the need for moms to sit and tend to their children directly, about their need to be with other women sharing and giving counsel and friendship.  That's one reason I feel I've over-scheduled a bit, is that I never ever miss an opportunity to spend time with friends [a philosophy I've held since college: relationships above studying for a test or starting a silly paper].  I talked about it a while ago, but I really felt pretty depressed during Edie's first 4 months, experiencing all sorts of awful feelings. I can tell you though that if a friend stopped by, or we went to someone's house, those feelings vanished.  This lady at the mom's group, Claudia, shared that women's oxytocin levels actually rise when they are with other women, and I can see exactly what she means!  Another way our oxytocin levels are high is when we tend to our children - as in holding them, cuddling with them, touching them, feeding them.  Last week I had a very ambitious list of things to get done while Vera was in preschool.  I didn't end up getting a single thing done because Edie wanted to sit in my lap and read Brown Bear, Brown Bear over and over and over. For like two hours, give or take a snack and a diaper change and heating up my yerba mate.  I kind of wanted to get to that list, yet it felt pretty nice to just sit on the floor with my sweet growing baby in my lap, kissing the top of her cute little head. The next day at the mom's group I learned that there is a physical, hormonal reason that it felt so good!  God is truly amazing to have designed us in such beautiful ways.

***

Anyway.  So an overwhelming week with all that tending/befriending on my mind [read Jenny's post - always so well-written and just right].  However, today was wonderful.  Fairly unrelated to the previous two paragraphs, because my good day was really due to two other things: 1) Ben took Edie on errands both before and after her nap, and 2) because I didn't race anywhere [or even step foot outside the house] until like 4pm.  Seriously, those of you who live near parents or in-laws should never take it for granted!!!  If I could just have my mom or Rosie take the girls on an outing for an hour a week, I could get so much done.  I'm really grateful Ben could take a little break today and I could organize some things and finish some projects that I had half-assedly started here and there.  There is some blog-venting for you.  Now here are some pictures. They don't quite capture the week, because they actually look quite peaceful:

                                               

Edie likes to scoot her little bottom up to the couch when she reads her books, it's pretty cute.