*

Just some pictures from the last few weeks.  I keep wanting to post things here, but like I said I am feeling rather tired and dull and I just haven't had the energy.  My brain feels frazzled and the thought of planning dinner and a trip to the grocery store sends it reeling.  I keep forgetting where I am in a conversation and have trouble finding the word I need - serious cognitive issues :)  Ok, it's not always all that bad, but really... I can't wait to get a couple good sleeps in a row.  Please, baby Ruth!

Anyway here we are at Flour Bakery on Ben's birthday.  

I miss having a place like this within walking distance.  Afterward we went to a really fun playground next door - nice little family time.

Vera's homework time was getting out of hand - Edie was so excited to have her back home that she wouldn't leave her alone. Super frustrating. So the other day at Target I let her pick out her own coloring book with some new crayons. They stay up high in a cupboard until homework time.  It's worked really well!  Hopefully the excitement of it won't wear off until school's out. [end of June!]  I should have done something like this months ago.

little cutie here dressing up today. I'm having to come up with all sorts of tricks and bribes lately to get them to cooperate lately. sigh. I'm trying to grow her bangs out but she resists me putting it back. From now on, no tv until she has her hair back. I also just decided [30 minutes ago] no breakfast until their pajamas are put away. Am I the only one who has to resort to these things?

we dressed Ruthie up too for a minute:

silly faces:

Outing to the post office. Ruth was in the Bjorn - it was a little stressful hoping she wouldn't cry and  making sure Edie didn't go too fast or too far, but we made it and had a fun time. They were so cute scooting along.

*Ruthie - 3 months old

I feel like we are finally slowly emerging from the newborn fog with Ruth now 3 whole months old.   She is still hard to figure out sometimes, but I think we are rounding a corner and can start working again on a rhythm.  We kind of had one the last couple months but something over the last week changed and we are starting anew.  I really feel so much better with a semi-predictable routine and rhythm to our days and it's been hard not having that. She's still taking like 6+ mini naps - sometimes I think I am getting better at knowing which nap was really the end of the one before it, but like I said she is hard to figure out and I often have no idea if she's tired or hungry or tummy-aching. It's really frustrating and I feel like a failure - I mean shouldn't I know by now?? I felt like I was more in tune with the other two.  Who knows.  I'm pretty tired [still not sleeping great].  I seem to have no way with words lately, so if this seems choppy or you talk to me in person and I seem a little dull, this is why!!  How's that for a positive report? :)

Anyway she is a cute, squishy little thing and just loves all the attention from us all.  She coos and  babbles a lot and really loves to be talked to. Today in the car I was even able to talk her out of crying from the front seat!  Yesterday I got a good rolling giggle out of her [by bouncing her on my knee and telling her she's chubby:)] - the longest laugh yet.  Isn't it addictive? You just want to hear it over and over.  She's discovered her toes and is starting to see her hands, bringing whatever's in them to her mouth. She drools like crazy - like 3 bibs a day.

I love her so much - my favorite is laying her down on a blanket or the bed, talking with her and nuzzling my nose into her sweet tummy and neck. Just can't wait for the fussy unpredictable phase to end!

 I feel like she looks like a Ward here:

*photo shoots

I didn't have an iphone when Vera or Edie were new - so much easier now to take a bazillion pictures...

the hand shots were Vera's idea :)

*La Pascua 2014

Another glorious Easter Sunday celebrating the resurrection.  [Here was last year's]  Have I talked about how much we love our church?  I keep meaning to write about it... anyway our pastor preached another amazing sermon - about our hope in Christ.  Not a second-hand "at least we have hope" kind of hope, but the kind that fills our lives with joy, in the 'now'.  If you're the sermon-listening type, I recommend looking up some of his sermons - here is Easter Sunday's and here is the church site.

Here we are last year. Fun to think how we didn't know we'd have another little girlie with us a year later! and yes, I wore the exact same thing:

It was a pretty busy day - starting with an overly ambitious breakfast that Ben ended up getting together because Ruthie was a being a fussy nurser.

Anyway, amidst it all I got out Easter best - I love using my china and silverware from Grandma Kay:

in the nursing room with this cutie.. I didn't get a good picture of her dress [it has pink smocking on top] which was mine as a baby!

yummy treats at church:

I had wanted a good picture of the three sisters in their Easter best - waited until the end of the day, a little too late.

I was too busy getting our stuff together for the brunch with friends to even see them hunt for eggs.  I told Vera last year there's no Easter bunny [I just wanted one holy holiday without a mascot], but she kind of believes anyway.

didn't get any pictures of our lunch with the McCoys - good food and good fellowship!

dyeing eggs earlier that week:

*looking back

I was looking back at these posts from January 2011 - when Vera was about 3.5 and Edie about 3 mos.  I wanted to see what kind of struggles I was having at the time, hoping at least that this time isn't worse!!   Obviously there were going to be some issues having to do with sleep, my preferred complaint :)  Ruth is following right in her sisters' footsteps in that regard. Or maybe I just haven't figured it out yet??!  My babies don't like to sleep for more than 25 minutes during the day and in the early morning hours are up every hour or so. sighh.  I am thankful that when we put Ruth down around 7:30 she stays down for 5-7 hours. Just need to work on the 5-7 after that....  I am so tired, so very very tired.

Anyway fun to look at the differences in their little faces. All a little alike but different.

Ruth - so far our chubbiest - the hand photo was Vera's idea :

Edie:

Vera:

seesters:

Vera at 3 1/2 - Edie's wearing this skirt today :)

love this one:

*afuera

We've had just a few gorgeous days recently (today was 39) and the girls could finally spend a lot of time outside.  I love our backyard so much!  When you are down there, off the deck, the grasses are so tall and wild feeling - hard to capture it in a picture.  It all makes me wish I was 6 and playing Little House on the Prairie.

*caritas

I just love all the little faces babies make... and I try to capture every single nuance on camera :) Ruthie really is so cute and talkative. So happy especially when someone new wakes up or comes into the room. Her happy moments are longer and longer every day, but still fleeting. (10 weeks yesterday)

***

The pouty sad face is too much!!! The other day I was singing the Hallelujah song from the Messiah (kind of playing around, I am no singer) and she kept getting the sad face when I tried to hit a high note - Edie and I were laughing so hard.

*reading

Like I said earlier, since Vera lost her tooth she's had a burst of confidence with reading.  We haven't read too many chapter books with her lately, with the busyness of the new baby, etc. She mostly fulfills her 15 minutes a day requirement by reading books to Edie or with her Calvin and Hobbes obsession - when they haven't been taken away.  I'm glad the comic books have helped her become more fluent in reading, but instead of viewing them as a hilarious and thoughtful commentary on childhood, they have opened up her eyes to a new whole world of mischief and viewing parents, teachers and babysitters!  Seriously, we kind of regret that she stumbled on them :/

ANYway, so I've been trying to find some sweet, wholesome books for her to read. Last week a friend lent us the first in the Cobble Street Cousins series and we read it together - me a page, then her a page. On Thursday I borrowed the second in the series and that night Vera came downstairs pretty late saying she had read the whole thing in one sitting!! It was a school night but I wasn't upset at all. She was beaming and said, "I love reading!!"  Ahhh it made me so happy!  Can't even describe how happy that makes me.

Welcoming any suggestions on good, wholesome chapter books!

*honesty

A combination of the paralyzing isolation a new baby can bring, cold weather, distance from all sides of family and feelings of being left out of the daily community we could have with them, hormones, lack of sleep, lack of money, bickering children, a public school experience that leaves me sad, distanced and worried about my little girl, a lingering sense of awkwardness around the friends we meet ... well all of this comes together and leaves me a little lost and teary sometimes.  I appreciate comments on instagram that I am a 'supermom'  because I managed to make muffins and play-doh with a newborn  around, but the truth is I often feel staggeringly inadequate.

I have loved this blog, Journey Mama, for many years. She is so beautifully honest about all these same feelings. Maybe everyone doesn't feel them, but she does and she shares them in just the right way. I loved this post of hers I read today about her own self-loathing and her reminder about how God sees us.

posting some unrelated pictures... 

reminders that God is good and things aren't as bad as I tell myself they are :)

a good daddy:

sisters having fun and encouraging each other:

 biggest sister adoring the baby:

Days warm enough to enjoy the outdoors. She went from fussing to cooing and smiling the second the breeze touched her face:

a sling that works like magic to get her to sleep:

an adorable 3 year old:

We are so behind all the Spring pictures I see from the West Coast! 

but still, Spring is coming here too...

more loving. Vera even whispered "I love you Edie" my heart was so happy!!! 

[I may have posted this?]