*He is risen!!

1 Peter 1:1-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade...

We had a wonderful wonderful Easter. The kind of service at church where you can't sing the hymns because you keep getting choked up.

We did let a little traditional secular Easter in too of course :) Yesterday we went to pet the baby animals at a local ranch-supply store. I kind of regret not buying one of the bunnies - can you imagine her extreme excitement waking up to a baby bunny hopping around the living room?! Or my extreme excitement? Anyway, today before church we hunted Easter "eggies" in the front yard with our next-door neighbors - Vera had so much fun!! I decided to save the dress I'd made for another time, because I wanted her to wear the jacket and bonnet that I wore when I was one and a half. She looked just adorable in it and surprisingly kept the bonnet on the whole time. I didn't realize my camera was on a weird setting and the pictures didn't turn out as well as I'd like :(

***

[Easter Sunday 1981]

Tomorrow we're headed off to Seattle!!! ICANTWAIT. I wish Ben could go, but he's going to take advantage of a week of toddler-free studying - his comprehensive exams are at the end of the month.

*afuera

Last weekend a friend and I went to hear Richard Louv speak at our library. He's the author of Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder, which I haven't read but am definitely going to at some point this summer. I've always held memories of my childhood very dear. Memories of exploring every inch of our neighborhood with our BFFs .. the field across the street next to the witch's house [poor lady, she just didn't want us in her yard] with the mysterious fenced off spring; another empty lot with a fantastic climbing treewhere we played Little House in the Big Woods-style, someone always pretending that a bear ate her leg; the big pine tree that created it's own enclosed and secret fort; every nook formed by the roots of the huge cottonwoods and the wonderful crunch you could get riding your bike over the fallen cotton seeds, my mom's garden beds that provided wealths of plants and flowers to dissect and inspect... all this not even to mention the Ranch [which -if you know me- know to be, well, one of the most special-to-me places in the world]. Anyway, I so value my nature/exploration/outside-centered childhood and have always been sad at the 'changing of the times' that seems to say my children just won't be able have that independent, nature-steeped experience that I did [which was already a far cry from both my parents' ranch upbringings!].

[Sigh. I just interuppted writing this to check CNN which I should NOT have done. Lead story about a little California girl killed one afternoon hopping from friend's house to friend's house. How incredibly sad and sickeningly horrible. I can never get these stories out of my mind. Louv talked how one big problem with kids getting outside these days is the parents' fears of such things. He actually said abductions are down in past years, and the majority of them are actually by family members or acquaintances. The media repeats these stories (like I just read!) over and over and gets them forefront in our minds.]

So what do we do?? I know Ben and I will have no problem getting our kids up onto hiking trails and playing in the creeks, but what about the independent neighborhood roaming that I remember so fondly? Is the danger really that much bigger or is it that we are hyper-informed to every single tragic event that happens now? I don't really know the answer..

Geez, I need to turn my thoughts back around [I hate the news!].. On a more positive note, I've been making it a point in the last week to visit some of the more natural parts of our park - let Vera (+Stella) collect leaves and dandelions, sit under the cottonwoods, look for baby ducks, etc. It's really been calming and peaceful. What's more, when I took these pictures the other day, Vera firmly told me "no", that I was "all done" with both camera and phone! Apparently she wanted a bit of pure nature too :)

*we love these guys!

...and missed them while they were gone!! they're all so grown up now - calling each other by name, playing together and all. looking forward to a fun summer.

*

...Vera loooves her animal friends...

*la siesta

So Vera hasn't taken a nap for a WEEK! I put her down like usual and she either talks and reads for a bit, followed by 20 minutes of mommy?mommy?mommy? or she screams her way out of the whole thing. I know I tell myself that "phases come and go", but is the nap phase gone forever??? She's not even two!! And it's not like she happily makes it all the way to bedtime. She is crazy, insanely tired and grumpy and the past 3 nights has been hysterical as I try to put her down. I just can't bring myself to take her for a nap-drive every afternoon, but I need to do something! Yesterday I set a timer and told her when it 'dinged' Mommy would come get her.. I guess that's what I'm going to do for the next few days, and hopefully she'll fall asleep at some point. Only thing is I don't want the *ding* to wake her up if she miraculously sleeps. Any ideas? Please??

*the drummer

Last night Ben found some videos on YouTube of his old band days. It's really strange trying to imagine him at that time since I met him years after he'd 'retired'. The really strange thing is that I was at one of his shows. I saw the Supertones in Visalia, California in like '97 or so and his band [Value Pac] opened for them! How far from my thoughts was it that I would one day marry that drummer on stage???? Craaaaaaazy. But good :) I'm going to watch this video over and over, try to really see that cute boy there on the drums:

*más speesees

In case you were wondering [I doubt it :)], I'm still an official marketing mom for Speesees. My returns on the first 3 months were pretty sparse, but I'm still in the game :) They seem to always have some sale going on, and right now is [obviously] the Easter themed sale! Enter code REDBUTTE for either 15% off or free-shipping [with sale items, I'm not sure... if it doesn't let you enter it in the coupon spot, enter it in the message space]. Anyway, their stuff is supercute, soft, adorable and oh-so-environmentally conscious: www.speesees.com.

*me aburro

So when I texted my good good friend yesterday that I was bored, I knew exactly what she'd tell me. I always remember her saying that she doesn't let herself get bored. There's always something you can be doing with yourself. I guess she didn't have to tell me that - I even have a list on my fridge for those moments titled "What can I do?" with things like make those cards, organize this desk, research this one thing, etc. So I guess my problem is usually that I'm lazy and don't feel like doing anything except sitting - which my small child doesn't let me often do. So I texted back and promised to make something that night - even if I did just be lazy for the afternoon. Not sure if she got the end of my text [sí?], but I said I'd take a picture as proof. So here, I made a skirt! I'm quite proud of myself for just doing it - so easy too, I made it in less than 2 hours and then even finished A Tale of Two Cities [albeit a day late for book club]! What a productive evening, I should do this more.

It's a little too big and looks a little silly over her big diaper, but will be perfect for this summer. She would not stand still for me to get a good picture!! I think she was busy here trying to balance a small button on her shoe...

...though just to see if I could get her attention, I asked where her belly-button was :)




[and yes look at that mess in the background! there's something I could be doing...]

*1.67 years

People often ask what has been my favorite stage, and the truth is, every stage feels like the most fun at the time, and then the next comes along and I decide that's even more fun! The past few months have been awesome just watching her grow and change into a little girl. So here's what she's up to at 20 months. I'm sure you'll find this boring, but they're things we'd like to remember:

She's talking a lot and her pronunciation is better seriously every day. In couple months she started adding an 's' for plural and possessive: Mommy's, Daddy's, books, cats, etc. It's so crazy how they just pick these things up! Come to think of it, she's easing up saying "no!" but did start saying "my!" the other day - oh boy. Her most repeated words are too! and two! [as in mommy's eating too! mommy, sit here too! two socks! two dogs!], new! [as in put on a new (another) diaper, shirt..] and big/small [last night apparently she looked up at Ben and said, daddy, eyebrow, big. :)] Also, in the last couple months she's started actually talking to whoever is on the phone, answering their questions [she'll say "yeah" or "no"] and saying the words they ask to hear, giving a kiss if they ask for it, etc.

I'd say her favorite things to do are play with fake-food or her tea-set: feeding mommy, daddy or a line-up of animals friends and dolls. She also still loves to put on any hats, mittens, boots, shoes + belts that happen to be lying around [she put on a pair of pants by herself just once, and is working on it..] She's more attached to Bunny than ever and includes him in everything. Yesterday he handed me the clothes out of the basket one-at-a-time to fold :) He's not allowed to go outside to the park or anywhere he could possibly get lost, so we leave him in the crib to take a nap. She's good about telling him to "stay" :) She also has Bunny do things she's not allowed to, like turn on the TV or touch the hot oven or even hit or push Mommy! It's hard not to laugh, but I let her know it's not ok. She also loves to run. Run through the living room-bedroom loop, run into daddy's arms and then back up to do it over again, run pell-mell [like the Poky Little Puppy, remember?] through an open space - yelling and hearing her voice bounce. She loves to visit our neighbors, Tio & Tia - walks in their house like she owns the place and pretty much has them wrapped around her little finger :)

I still put her down for a nap around 1:00, but at least 2-3 times a week she doesn't fall asleep. She'll play or read quietly for 1/2 hour and then say mommymommymommymommy for the next 1/2 hour. It drives me CRAZY, but she is going to have to learn that we all will have a quiet time whether we sleep or not!!

I think that's it?

* ¡lo hice!

I did it! I made Vera's Easter dress! It was surprisingly easy - it only took me 3 nights of leisurely work and I didn't even have to call my mom once for help. I found the pattern here [thank you Jenny!]. I think I'm really going to like sewing - even if I don't like/am not patient with the ironing and having to be precise part. It's really so rewarding to see the finished product and I already have several more projects in mind :)

Thankfully she didn't have a fit when I put it on her [she's awful picky about what you make her wear these days], but obviously wouldn't sit still for a photo shoot. And she's wearing some 3-sizes-too-big shoes. Still, here it is:

("elbow!")

*

Vera often wakes up from a nap, not just grumpy or sensitive, but hysterical. I'm always jealous of those people whose babies wake up sweet and quiet, talking softly to themselves in the crib [we do have that a couple times a week...] I'd love to hear any thoughts, but there doesn't seem to be a pattern - she'll be that way after a short nap, a long nap, with a full tummy, ready to eat, having gone down easily, doesn't matter. Today was especially bad. I finally got her to calm down saying we'd take the umbrella outside for a walk in the rain. You have to be careful though, because the littlest thing will set her off again. First it was that [I think, hard to tell], I handed her the umbrella instead of holding it myself, then our neighbor invited us in to give Vera some specially baked mini banana muffins [so nice :)] and she fell apart when I left the umbrella on the steps. Then she fell apart again when I picked her up going up our steps - I think she wanted to walk herself. Goodness, I couldn't do anything right :) I learned for the most part to just go along with it, try my best and have a sense of humor in the midst of the hysteria.

So anyway, today after dropping the umbrella off back at home and eating a couple muffins, we went for a nice little walk down our street. She was just so cute and sniffly with her hands in her pockets that I had to take a few pictures.

*

I would just like to report that Vera has had a really good day!! Our few days of summer weather were brief and we woke up to rain and snow this morning. I knew it could be a potentially long day not being able to go outside, but everything went so well! I think it's key to keep the "strong-willed child" busy [I've heard this several times...]. I gave them rides around the carpet in the fruit box [notice Vera waiting patiently for her turn - I didn't even have to ask!], read some books, they jumped in the crib, played with some tupperware, cooked in her kitchen, - all in a happy, nice, sharing spirit.

When I lay Vera down at night, we always say a prayer. It usually goes something like this: "Dear Jesus, thank you for this day, thank you for Mommy and Daddy and Vera and... Thank you for our friends, help us to be nice and love them. Please be with them tonight... Amen!" The other night she had trouble going to sleep and so I went in to read another story. In the middle of it, she looked up and said, Mommy, nice. Daddy, nice. Desta, nice. and patted her arm showing 'gentle'. It was so sweet! I really want to get at the heart of all this you know? Teach her to understand why and how we love others.

Today was good - thank you LORD! Help me to be patient even when it's difficult...

[of course bunny got a turn too]

* ¡primavera!

I love Spring!! The last few days have been so warm and sunny - though we hear there's supposed to be snow later this week. I guess a slow Spring is a good thing, right? This morning Vera and I walked to the park to find the ferris wheel and merry-go-round ... going around :) We didn't have any money, but had fun watching. Every time the ferris wheel went around she'd yell "goes!!", as in there it goes!!

*solcito

We had kind of a rough day [I knew it might be when she woke up at 4:30!!], so I made it a point to go somewhere open and happy this afternoon - it was so nice and and refreshing for both of us.

***

*flintstones

You might like to know that Vera can now push herself forward :)

*bad bad bad

Anytime I make any sort of extra effort in making dinner [as in a real recipe, or risotto, or steak, or anything moderately special] I feel like I have to set the table pretty, light votives and cannot not have wine [unless it's clearly a beer meal]. Tonight it was definitely my fault. I had planned to make empanadas [a beer meal, but I don't much feel like beer lately], but couldn't find my trusty empanada dough recipe. I believe I didn't want to lose it, so I put it somewhere safe - oops. Anyway, so Ben was supposed to get burger fixings and instead got some nice steak and peppers to make kebabs. I guess kebabs aren't the fanciest of meals, but the steak wasn't cheap, and after drizzling some balsamic vinaigrette over them, it looked rather special. In Montana, this wasn't a problem: we lived 3 blocks from Grizzly Grocery and could hop on a bike and be back in 5 minutes with a decently cheap bottle of wine. Not in Utah!!! You can only buy wine at a State-run liquor store which close at 7pm and aren't open Sundays. I often try to buy a couple extra bottles of cheaper wine to have on hand. Problem is, they usually are consumed in a couple days. So all we had in the pantry tonight was a special bottle I bought just this week - the one we had on our ♥ day date [as well as a reeeeally special one saved for like.. the dissertation defense] and were saving for a special occasion. As Ben headed out to the bbq I said, soooo we probably shouldn't have that wine? Knowing full well that we would have it - though I had to put up the pretend "I'm frugal" front. ayayay.

Anyway, it was worth it - just as it usually is. We're both a little frazzled lately: Ben with 150-or-so books to read [or at least know] in the next month and I with a feisty + headstrong little toddler. The kebabs were de-licious and the wine just right. If you're looking for a nicer [this would be a low-budget wine to some, I realize - $18], yummy, quality wine we would both recommend it - Can Blau, Montsant Spain 2006. I can't find the words to describe it and would sound cheesy anyway if I did. We agreed at dinner on cherries and pepper? What do we know?


*Just so you know, I took pictures of my food+wine long long before I had a *blog* :)
**Why do I feel like putting all those thoughts in [brackets] instead of in the clause itself?
***You might be wondering why this is so bad, and the answer is, we cannot afford it!!

*las etapas

I think one thing I've learned about this parenting deal is that kids have phases - and that these phases come and go. For Vera there was the month of exactly 18 minute naps, the few weeks where she would only eat something if it had YoBaby mixed in, the 2-3 months where she would break into choking sobs every time I stepped out of her sight, the screeching phase [remember, Beth?] and the trying to get out of bedtime phase - to name a few.

I'm hoping the current phase is like the rest and will eventually be a memory, because I've just about lost patience for it. It's still the no! phase that I mentioned a while ago, combined with a new somewhat bratty attitude with her friends [not all the time ... please still invite us over :)]. I'd say most of the troubles have to do with her interactions with other little ones - which is hard and sad for me to see and deal with. I try so hard to patiently repeat the same words: Vera, we don't talk to our friends that way, Vera, that is not nice, Vera, you may not take things from your friends, Vera, please give that back, Vera please say you're sorry. Sometimes I see flickers of her holding back. I'll say, Vera do you want a spanking? And she says noooo in a much lighter, softer tone - which lets me know that she does know what's going on! Or I'll be about to give her a little spank and she says, nice! or a honey-sweet hiiiii :) Or sometimes, she makes the right choice and will hand Stella a toy, or give her a kiss and pat on the back.

Anyway, I started this post this morning - while remembering the difficult week we had [all the above combined with waking up at 5:00am and little-to-no napping...]. We had such a lovely day though today - lots of smiles and giggles and being nice. Well and Ben took her for a long hike [thank you!!] after which she took a 2 hour nap!!! And then such a fun, playful easy-to-bed evening we had. So yeah, I believe this too is just a phase. In the meantime I'll try to be consistent and loving, steering her towards a kind heart.