*Isabel

A very memorable 29th birthday. My Grandma Kay and I had one of those special times that made me feel like I was a little girl - I almost even ordered dessert first at the restaurant. It was such a treat for both of us to later see Isabel Allende speak in person. She's a spunky petite little Latin lady who fit right into the image I had in my head. She's somewhat of a hippie - in the make love/not war sense. Her humor, wit and perspective on life were really inspiring. I heard things that I do in church every week - those things I really need to pay attention to. Her main topic was mamisma - a word whose origin she wasn't quite sure of. It basically means "abundant [female] love" - as in the generous motherly love seen in people like Mother Theresa.

I've thought about her talk on and off since then and especially today. In the last few years, months, weeks and even hours, I've been confronted with issues of hurt-forgiveness-reconciliation [for everyone's reference, I'm not talking about any one instance, but many one-instances. So if you think I'm talking about you, I'm probably not ;)]. I think we can pretty much count on the fact that we are going to hurt our loved ones at some point - and they are going to hurt us. When there is true sorrow and repentance on one end, it really pains me when there is not a full sense of forgiveness on the other. I've found this so intensely true particularly in marriage where if we didn't move on from those hurts, we'd be in a constant state of grudgery. I don't even know where I am going at this point: I've written and erased countless sentences already. I'm just feeling on the hurt end right now and I believe I'll just pray for the grace to love abundantly in these [oh and in so many other] ways.

*p.s. I am just rambling here. I'm not intending to preach, just trying to get out some of the feelings heavy on my mind today.

*p.p.s. We didn't get to meet her in person. We were also towards the back so I didn't get a picture of her speaking - I wish I'd taken one anyway.

*dear fan base,

We're okay!  Last week Vera and I were in Nevada.  My grandma and I got to hear my most favorite author - Isabel Allende - speak in Reno which was pretty awesome.  We flew back Friday morning and the three of us drove out that afternoon for Montana!  We've been having an amazing time catching up with old friends, businesses [ie. Big Dipper, Le Petit, Scotty's], sights and general nostalgia.  Unfortunately in the 2 hour window at home I accidentally unpacked my camera :(  We've taken a few with our friends', so hopefully I'll have some good ones to post.  

love,

anne

*una flor

[seeing how soft they are]

[trying to put the petals back on]

*los pañales

A few friends have asked me about using cloth diapers and I thought I would just share what's worked for us. To be completely honest, I was a bit of a wuss at first. I was really into the idea from way long ago and had them all stacked so pretty waiting for baby to come. Then I had a 9.25 lb. baby who didn't fit in the diapers I'd bought and pooped every hour: not conducive to motivated cloth-diapering. Not to mention the fact that [during the one week they did fit] her cute little newborn onesies wouldn't fit over her big bottom. So I used them off and on for the first two months and then forewent them completely until about 6 months when I kicked myself for letting those diapers I'd paid for sit there while I bought disposables. I feel pretty comfortable now and am hoping baby #2 will be a breeze.

So when I went to buy diapers online, I had no idea what the heck to get [one reason I'm writing this: maybe it will help one of you friends?]. There are so many different kinds and there's a whole cloth-diapering lingo which was incredibly confusing [and a little annoying :)]. So I finally ended up meeting a girl who had a really good, cheap, easy-to-understand system. Per her advice I bought 3 G Diaper covers per size and instead of using their flushable inserts [which are great, I hear] I have a dozen or so flats. The flats look like dishtowels which you have to fold. To be honest, I like folding the diapers - it's calming, relaxing and allows me a minute to think.

So this little system is quite cheap and works really well. However, I finally figured out the cloth-diaper jargon and now wish I could buy up all the fun, new, trim, cool, hemp, organic, adorable diapers out there. Because cloth diapers aren't just eco-friendly, they are stinkin' adorable. Like this one:

So - I have the GDiaper system for everyday use with a few doublers [makes them more absorbant] for naps. I have 2 BumGenius' for times we'll be away from home for an extended period [you can't let them sit in the diaper like with disposables], and then one cute Bummis cover (above) which I put over random pre-folds [the ones our moms used] and fitted diapers I've acquired. I use disposables at night, by the way. And sometimes I'm just feeling lazy and use them then too.

So! I know it's not for everyone, but if you're considering cloth diapers, I'm telling you it's not as hard/gross as it sounds. The laundry is really not a big deal at all - especially if you have a front loader. Don't worry if you're not that into it - I'll still be your friend :) But I think it's a really good thing! Ok! Done.

*el otoño

After some 80+ degree weather, it looks like fall is coming back. We need to head up to the mountains to see the color before it all blows away!

*nurnies

This has tentatively been the last week I'll nurse Vera. She only does before bedtime and doesn't seem to really need it, getting distracted easily and such. Plus with some trips and other things coming up it seems like a good time to wean. It's really been an easy process from the beginning since she's not much of a snuggler and has always been so interested in the world around her. I think we've gone this long because I'm the one that wants to snuggle :)

Nursing has been a surprise to me. I always knew I wanted to for the bonding, the baby's health, and well ... the weight loss reasons. I didn't realize though what a sweet and amazing thing it is. It was hard at the beginning - as I've learned it is for most moms - and there were many moments where I bawled devastatedly [that a word?] when little newborn Vera just couldn't/wouldn't do it [some advice: don't let them give your baby formula in the hospital!!]. As things began to fall in place though it became such a sweet quiet time to spend with my little baby. I made many mental notes to not forget this moment, holding her sweet little hands, adoring her sweet little body curled up next to me. I remember when she started looking up and smiling at me - it was so adorable and I had to try to not smile too much back or we'd be there forever. Of course it was also often that time I could relax on the bed and fit in an episode of Arrested Development :) Lately though, like I said, she's just too distracted and it's just time for her and me to ........ well you know. This evening I started thinking that this may have been the last night and could just feel the tears surging up my chest [that make sense?].

Tonight was just confirmation that it's time: a minute in she looked up at me and says, "seh?" - which is her new word for the baby we watch. What?? I say... and she taps her hand with the other, puts it up to my mouth and then up to her mouth. "seh?" she says again. Ohhhh she wants the baby's pacifier. Wow, she actually explained to me in Vera-talk what she wanted. So I call to Ben to bring it and she alternates nursing, putting it in her mouth, and putting it in mine. Then, she raises her hand up to me for a high-five! So I give her a high-five and she starts giggling - as do I. Finally she sits up and points at the crib and asks for bunny. Wow, when your child is old enough to give you high-fives while nursing, is that when it's time to stop?? That's what got me all on-the-emotional-edge afterwards and I'm just fighting amongst myself with holding on and letting go. Anyway, I apologize for the long and possibly uncomfortable nature of this post :) I wish I had a picture of her breastfeeding [you probably don't] - I always thought the ones of us with my mom were special.


*nurnies. I gleaned it from a SouleMama post a long time ago. Like many phrases, it started out as playful mockery and was soon adopted as daily speak. Please don't tell anyone we called it that.

*baby gap

Somewhere I saw that Gap has a contest going where your little one could be chosen as Gap's next top model or something of that nature. Anyway, as a good mom I think Vera is pretty darn cute. However, I don't think she'd be a good candidate as most of her pictures look like this:

Why has she always stuck out her tongue like that?? Anyway, she looked adorable just kickin' it up there on the changing table so I kept taking pictures. A few more flattering:

*resolved

I've been thinking of some realistic little changes I want to make in my life. I figure if they're written in stone here on the internet, I might come through:

1. Make homemade bread [my mom did, why can't I?]

2. Get up before Vera to read my Bible [the first day I tried this, she got up an hour early :( ]

3. Waste less food [it's so easy to ignore the stuff in the fridge and go to Barbacoa 3X/week]

4. Drink more water [lately I'll realize all I've had is mate].

5. Eat less ice cream [sad, but I have to do it].

6. Sign up for a 1/2 marathon for the Spring [the only way I can motivate is to pay the fee].

7. Cut flowers from the garden [both our moms did - such an easy way to make things pretty].

*thinking

Yesterday I twice observed Vera's little problem-solving skills emerging. I was feeding the baby in the high chair and Vera pushed her little chair over and climbed on top of it so she could see better! I don't think she's done anything like that before. Later she was bringing me books to read and picked a particularly heavy one. She couldn't carry both the book and her milk at the same time. I could see her little wheels turning as she paused to look at both. She put the milk down, came over with the book, turned around to fetch her milk and then came back to sit in my lap! So cute. and smart.

However, this morning I watched her try to get through the door sideways with the swiffer. She just kept pushing harder and harder. I thought she might try backing up and starting over, but nope :)

Also she has been incessantly climbing up her high chair. She's great at getting up but hasn't figured out how to get down - so far she holds her arms out to me and leaps.

...we have some things to work on...

*we love bunnies

I was going through the next size bin of hand-me-downs and found Vera's Halloween costume for this year. I couldn't wait to have her try it on: it was stinkin ADORABLE.

Sorry, Sarah, no Brittney Spears again this year - maybe next.

*

.::Ben trying to cuddle with Vera::.

*new toy

Thanks, V.

...didn't even have to show her what to do :)

*sweet

Ben's first fish - with his dad and grandpop:

...near Rock Creek...

*did I speak too soon?

Wow, I hope my new 'everyday days' don't look anything like today. Little baby had a very bad morning and big baby had a very bad afternoon. The former isn't a good napper/stroller rider yet and the latter is one or all of the following: sick, teething, jealous, over-tired, ate too many of our neighbors' tomatoes. Baby's mom brought a bottle of wine when she came to pick her up - almost worth it :)

Anyway, here's a picture that has nothing at all to do with today. It's from last September (8 weeks old). I thought it was a cute picture, but Ben thought she looked like a prairie retard [sorry, that is really really un-PC. but he can say it if it's his own daughter right?].

Have a good weekend!

[ok... her eyes do look a little crooked. still cute.]

*

I'm taking care of a new little one a few days a week. It's been interesting so far trying to juggle 2 at once, but I think it's going to work out. She's a really easy-going, happy, cute little baby [6 months old - we'll call her *baby*], and it's fun watching Vera interact with her. She loves to tickle her toes and give kisses, hugs and pats on the head. She also likes to take the binky away and play older sibling, dictating who gets what toy when.

I'm pretty sure she was trying to be loving here:

After kisses and hugs, Vera goes through the diaper bag:

Poor baby doesn't know what to think:

*did you know

...that her name rhymes with SARAH? You may have noticed our friend Sarah conveniently spells it Varah. Anyway, VEEra is a Russian name that means gift of faith. Varah is an Italian name that means true. Just thought I'd clear that up.

....adding this later: Coincidentally, this afternoon we were walking through the park with our friends and met a very sweet Romanian couple who wanted to meet all the babies. When I said her name was Vera, he said [in a very adorable accent] Veera - like the Russian name? Yes I said - with older people I usually just go with that since it's what they know. But then I asked him if there was an equivalent in Romania and he said Ve-ra, just like we say (well with a Spanish sounding Ve-da). Anyway that made me happy - I like confirmation that this whole thing isn't something I made up in my head. :)

[tamara, i was trying to get a flower-petal picture...]

*

We have a possibly teething, runny-nosed, stuffed-up needing 2 naps but only taking 1 [25 minutes!!], grumpy little bebe on our hands.

I just wanted to get a picture of her adorable little outfit [thank you - you know who :)] - but she just wanted the camera. This is Vera-sign for please put that in my hands:

This was as good as I could get before she melted. Still pretty cute:

*13.5 months

I don't have to wait for a round number to give an update :) Vera is literally learning and understanding new things every day, leaving us ever amazed. I wanted to write some things down before she moves on and I forget:

She loves helping me with things - turning out lights, closing doors, holding something for me, helping me cook [telling me that it's "(h)ot!!"]. If the gate to downstairs is open she'll responsibly walk up and close it. If I say, Vera what's in your mouth? She'll immediately take it out and hand it to me - or if there's something on the floor I wouldn't want her to have, she hands it to me before I ask. I love her little smile when I thank her and give her a kiss: the I'm-trying-not-to-smile-smile. I encourage her little servant's heart as much as possible, it's so sweet to see. [Of course she's not all sweetness and her little temper flares quite often. Don't you try to take that pen away or bring her inside before she's ready...]

In her own little way she's now saying banana, hot, flower, ouch, shoe and apple. She can tell you what a cow, monkey, cat and dog say and she signs milk, eat, bird, fish, sleep, ball, baby and sign [meaning she wants to watch the baby signing dvd].

We love being a mom and dad - watching this little person develop!!

*oh, and she gives us lots of kisses now :) - "ba!" she says because she can't make the muaa sound. we can't get enough.

*etsy!

Ok, some of you may know that I've been working on this. Hard to believe how long it's taken me [original opening date was in June I think], but I have started an Etsy shop! Yes I did!! I'm having a strange reaction to typing this and am finding myself kind of nervous. Anyway, please have a look if you'd like. Don't feel obligated to buy anything - unless you really pity me :) Do feel obligated though to tell anyone you might think would be interested. There's birthday cards and thank you cards and some notecards with my most favorite inspiring hymn. Also, I welcome any [kindly worded] constructive criticism as I'm still a little unsure of how it all looks and how this all works.

paperlove.etsy.com

*dinner

Normally we don't let her have at it with dinner. The other night though we just sat back and watched...

I always used to think, "ohh brother..." when people had framed pictures of their kids in dad's baseball hats or with food smeared all over their faces. It seems like the must-have picture of your baby, doesn't it? Well when it's your baby, it is the cutest thing ever. I mean just look at her - she's crazy, hilarious, what on earth is she doing??! I might not share our pictures of Vera in Ben's bball hats [we do have them...] but I do have an understanding now.

[and um if you want to see her cute
little expressions close-up, click on the picture]